i don’t really feel like writing this because i have my own operating expenses but, if you don’t have a ps5 or xbox series x, now might be the time to buy. in the calm before the storm they are selling at launch day prices. the xbox series x is backwards compatible with almost the entire xbox multi generational library… demon souls is remade for the playstation 5 and god tier.. yada, yada, yada… i will speak further on demon souls though… if you don’t consult a game guide you are setting yourself up for a world of pain. what made it so special when it was released was that it was about victory over impossible odds, the scale on every boss you encountered was palpable and impressive, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat was never guaranteed. you could be humble and do the smart thing and consult a written or video guide and enjoy the game for the masterpiece it was or you could travel the path of most resistance and try to master the various dynamics of the many boss battles without aid old school. thank the Lord for the shortcuts that were accessible in pretty much every level. at the end of your trial by fire, you could even decide to firmly grip your opus between your palms and destroy it with laughable folly… but, spoiler alert, in one of the most evil plot twists of digital time, there is an npc in the game that, once introduced to you, kills every other npc, for the uninitiated, non video game players in the fold, npc means non player character, so dude basically murders all your ai controlled acquaintances in this already melancholy environment you return to after every failed attempt at completing a new portion of the game in the spiritual sanctuary that you return to after every death in said game with little to no clue as to what, why and how he is doing it. if you let it, this game will completely and utterly break you… however, as they say, the juice is still worth the squeeze and if you don’t have it, get it. now. full transparency, i do own a OLED nintendo switch which your tax dollars purchased, i collect disability but i just have blood chemistry issues that keep me from working out and despite learning enough in college to advise my mother to use my dutiful father’s life insurance to purchase the house before the interest left on it ate up the equity that he had accrued in it i fear homelessness, although to a lesser degree than some. uncle sam doesn’t bother me much with his catch twenty-two for writing dry prose and saying that i work from home though, i guess it’s because my corny tee shirts don’t make me a dime. but anyway, i own a switch OLED, the screen is a beautiful 7 inches diagonally and it’s filled with worlds that only nintendo can create and even better if you take my advice and buy the grip that i’m not being paid to recommend to you. i was expecting a fall in the price but i do no longer. believe it or not i think that was part of the impetus behind valve increasing the size of the screen of the steam deck and offering additional perks like the more logical etched as opposed to ips glass on the ultra premium model but the switch OLED is still beautiful with that no longer b.s. sales pitch of true blacks which is really just a recent thing. more specs. the switch OLED screen is 1920 x 1080 60hz but usually a variable but highly playable average of slightly below 60hz as opposed to the 1280 x 800 i’m assuming 60hz rock steady fps of the steam deck but as its wheelhouse is handheld p.c. gaming and its engineered for efficient economy you know that your fps stability is all based on your game settings and tolerance for mediocrity. you could also just be a total loser and use the lowest tier of the device as a luxury deluxe emulation box which actually plays the ps2 version of god of war, a carrot these small time “theif box” manufacturing chinese sellers have been chasing for years, if you missed the chinese new year sale, you might still be able to the get the razer edge, which if you can get it for 200$ american or below is a worthwhile purchase that you will have to search out on ebay… in most cases the wear on these products isn’t even noticeable… at my age scratch and dent isn’t a big deal but do not… i repeat do not, as i said before, sign that three year blood pact with verizon that they are actively selling it under. it’s totally not worth it. you could get a razer kishi ultra with an apple mini 7th generation and do like a million more things with it plus have the coolest awkward device you’d ever love in your life with the almost nine inch screen that the ipad mini has. as for filling your steam deck with fairly recent stolen, at this point with the emulation that thing is capable of it becomes necessary to call a spade a spade, i know i said before but that is the situation. anyway, as long as you don’t over do it, video game developers aren’t quite as evil as i suspect those satellites allowed them to be in the past but that’s just my personal paranoia. when third party docked the steam deck can reach resolutions of 4k and 120hz, though you know that’s not at the same time with the same game. just know the device i’m linking you to below is not endorsed or manufactured by valve, it comes in two versions, one with a power brick and one without, and being reminded by some beautiful soul, sublime or no, all configurations of the steam deck come with the same processing specs, the devil in those details is the amount and speed of the memory and quality of the screen on the three models. i posted the comparison before… for pure aesthetic considerations on ths page, i’m not doing so again… so if you don’t mind possibly destroying your quad core chip 4k T.V., it might be worth your time. i know enough about pc’s and antiviruses to keep my p.c. running smoothly but when your talking about wattage and power rails and this thing claiming to be a “one size fits all” supercharger for your handheld p.c. i claim no responsibility and neither does valve for what it does to said console or t.v. again, that being stated i’ll leave the link below… with the straight up extortion i see in the market short term given the numbers which to me are just basic comparisons of exports between the us as compared to china i should just say “hurry up and buy!!!” but i don’t want my p.c. shorted out. now i shouldn’t have to say caveat emptor because we’re dealing with valve fans but they advertise steam docks for 10 dollars. that’s a dumb dock. if you believe it’s going to drive your 1280 x 800 steam deck on your 4k TV… it’s a dumb dock for a dumb bitch. the electronically fitted dock that they are claiming does that sounds a bit cheap for a device that would do it effectively. these friggin’ docks are made to hold up your deck while you’re feeling cool playing it with your 8do bluetooth controller, it takes all types i guess. like i said, i’ll link at the bottom of the page a single example of what you really need. moving on, including the just announced hardware, the build quality of every switch including the new hardware is suspect. the OLED switch, in spite of it’s beautiful screen, has no ergonomic contours, not much of a design at all it’s basically just a plank with a pretty screen on it. nintendo knows how to do better… the switch lite is proof of this, but their position in the gaming world is “interesting” to say the very least. it’s still a shame. the thing feels like its going to snap in two if you get too excited while your playing it. my advice, if you must have a switch, which i also believe is selling at launch day prices for the moment… get the OLED. it has a bigger screen, way more vibrant colors, only fifty dollars more than the O.G. version in the retail market and also, get this off of amazon.

this grip won’t protect your switch in a fall, be careful which one you get because they make them for the original and the OLED and they come in two different sizes… but it will make it feel like a solid device, plus, it fits inside of the normal dock without having to be removed. even for 350$ american, with this grip on it the OLED switch is hard to beat depending on your target consumer sample, even if your valve. MUMBA, R.I.P. G.G. and Kobe, also manufactures a travel case that will provide satisfactory protection in a fall and at the same time has space in it for twenty flash cartridges. i’ve only seen it for sale at amazon for approximately twenty dollars american, which basically makes it an essential accessory. not developing an imagined sense of importance for myself, at the “big nintendo direct update,” their words not mine, i’m absolutely sure that nintendo forgot it’s place as the autistic savant member of the big three now three point five and the switch two was slated to debut at 499.99$ american. even imagined, like in the razor blades that I used to use before i switched to beard trimmers and safety razors, at the end of the day… its gillette and shick. you can be a moron and go with harry’s or dollar shave club and have your razors shipped to your house because it cramps your pampered wrists to drive to walmart or whatever you feel… you could just wig out and buy the cheap as hell dorcos and watch your cheeks burn in razor hell, but like i said… at the end of the day it’s gillette and shick. it’s referred to as laissez-faire economics or idiomatically in french, let make economics or a free market economy, even if it’s two homogeneous products. i call it the calm before the storm, because sony and microsoft are probably still after selling millions of games subject to that oriental chokehold operating at below pre COVID margins and holding. i very seriously doubt that valve ever wanted to deal in hardware, even though i can’t see the visionary Gabe “Sith Lord” Newell himself being mad at the quarterly results. no other company in that ilk has the option to retreat into the software hills with the network of partners that they do… so don’t cry for mr. newell, he will survive, and fact being he won’t have to waste money on packaging and advertising and returned stock, do so in little to no pain. nintendo has walked back their launch price to 449.99. did i mention that they were proposing a ten to thirty dollar increase on the software? how does the prospect of eighty and ninety dollar switch games sound to you? how high does the ante rise and when do the cards hit the table and how fat is your wallet when they do? if you can and you have it… get it. we all suffer, call a spade a spade. or maybe this is seriously the beginning of the end and… towards that end, digital play is banned to be replaced by activities that make more employable people in the “shit hits the fan” long term… here’s where i exit stage left as far as financial theory is concerned. i told you before, when it comes to money i deal exclusively in trivia. you know you need a damned place to live and how much you can afford to pay for it or else God help you. you know you need a damned car to drive and how much you can afford to pay for it… but with the “fiscal sparring” that is promised… probably not in six months… even if you are a banker. when i say “fiscal sparring” i mean this… your not stupid, our continued standard of living is not as simple as sanctioning the entire world with our overvalued currency and comparatively pampered workers, its going to be exactly like a boxing match, you tax me here, i tax you there, and it’s going to involve gifted mathematicians, and stupid divertive politicians who have no business doing taxes in walmart never mind holding a seat on capitol hill… and worst case scenario, if mr. trump is half as stupid as you swear he is, world war III. relax and stay employed, you’re smart enough to, pray a little… thank God, enjoy your life to the best of your ability and situation. i have an xbox one x, gotta have a totally oem unscratched regular xbox 360 slim… that’s why you get that one instead of the glossy elite version they sold back then, i begged that merchant to “cherry pick” a new old stock totally oem 250 gig model for me. yes i said “begged,” i’m far from a proud man, its like a decade old, he sent it to me all nice and shiny, everything oem with the 250gig slim internal drive… he even included the original controller that operated on batteries… clean, and for under a hundred and fifty bucks… not everybody on ebay is an asshole. and now that my shady aunt cleaned off my dresser… i might just play deathsmiles 2 on it this christmas, digital live arcade is closed unless your xbox 360 is modded can’t have it. furthermore i have a regular playstation 4… though the 4 pro is starting to look like a good bear video game market purchase at 199$ even though i know all the jackass brats that read me have snatched them all up… my hunch was right, best buy is selling them scratch and dent for 199.99$ within driving distance of my elderly mom and playstation chose to go the finesse route instead of screaming maniacally about shear computing power so its not a raw deal, and lastly, a switch OLED. plus i have my beloved p.c. and collection of mechanical keyboards that the children that i will never have won’t be able to type on. chill… everything will be fine… we swear it.

i don’t believe valve has dipped their collective toes into the RMA shark tank of manufacturing their own 4k, 120hz, TV dock but the potential is there and this is what you need along with a badassed T.V. a lot of people see that 4k on the TV box and, without looking at the ridiculous sample picture in the store, buy the biggest, dumbest, non-image processing T.V. they can afford. my T.V., which i only game on by the way, has a quad core computer chip in it for a reason. you work hard, don’t get sniped. continuing. this device comes in two configurations… one with a power brick, and one without, the utility of this i know not. i repeat, valve does not manufacture or endorse this device. i’d just figured i’d show it to you because there are a decent amount of you out there who are still up enough to not give a damn and maybe you’ll cop a tee shirt and pay a micro loan payment or two. i’m pretty sure it’s not as simple as attaching a power brick to the thing though, but again… if you are the target, power user sample you know this. the link on the picture above will take you to amazon where they have a few of them… whether you choose to explore or not i don’t get a dime.

wishing you a merry christmas, crazy early… literally,

ummi