i’ve been seeing alot of beige in my feed lately…

I actually just purchased a pair of chaps boat shoes from the walmart near my town today for 40$. If you saw that disturbing “Tyler the Creator” video “Who That Boy,” gucci boat shoes these are not, so if I’m not feeling the swing of the swag, it’s an easy scenario to either take them back or wait for an appropriately boring function to pull them out for. the upper is vegan (that’s a nice way of saying fake,) leather with memory foam on the inside so it shouldn’t rub callouses into the back of your heel like allot of these more expensive boat shoes do. if having a label on your clothing that none of these millennials recognize, the all present chaps c-wing is present and visible near the rear of the upper and on the tongue. see the crazy thing is that you can find these things in walmart, either in store or online and with Pres. Trump bringing back manifest destiny with the Lake Ontario bill or with the government itself devaluing our currency and destroying second world countries so we can buy oil, why not dress like a civilized individual and feel good about yourself for a change. yes i said good quality polo’s, boat shoes, button downs, whatever. pretty much priced so that we can pretend like we’re deserving as everybody else. I mean, undeservedly being on disability for a meager sum every month myself and writing this blog and drop ship hustling these clothes you gotta love when a dude whose never worked an honest day’s labor himself has a feeling of entitlement because the government sends him a check no strings attached. you could view that as sedition, punishable by death if we knew about it in the city. but anyway, i’ll post my little picture, with my ugly mug, and you tell me. As a person who has been transplanted to the suburbs for a little while I’m confused about the eagerness to burn through your little trust to fit in a world an octave above yours but I can rock with these every once and a while and feel like my baptism by fire and my current plush cell as a reason to represent something that had nothing to do with me because I wasn’t traversing the country making “bonds” and I wasn’t rushing the doors of Macys 40 deep snatching everything I could hold under my nappy armpits to raise prices. I think they’re a good look anyway. Ralph Lauren in Walmart, who knew. I was so pleased that I went back and bought a 15$ marked down pair of fake sperrys that I’m also officially too ugly to wear. i’m not saying run it up but if you work in an office that you actually deserve to be working in, now you can more effectively solve your college loan issues, or buy books, whatever, and whoever switched up the size on my poshmark order of chaps “benny” 30$ boat shoes, which i was so obsessed with that i was going to go a full size and a half up even though i don’t even have a boat with a hull to mark up and which strangely enough have a exclusively for women variation these days… a thousand thanks. Now the logical explanation is that I ordered a women’s `12 which would technically and I have a secret santa in the WNBA. but even though i played myself it worked whatever. By the way the women’s exclusive version has been christened the “bennety,” boat shoe for women or i just live in an alternate reality, who knows.

*update on the 30 dollar ralph lauren chaps boat shoes… something happened, that never happens… wild pity on a fool.

anyway, through a trial by fire that was or wasn’t, with africans being killed by the thousands on the low (were we surprised?) anyway. I ordered a 12 in these cognac boat shoes when I wear a 10.5. and it made my day. anyway, you can’t find them anywhere even though they are officially are not polo even though Ralph Lauren retains ownership of the brand and are they are currently sold in walmart. much to my surprise i got a 10… and coming from a family of mostly women wearing those bunion spawning pumps they all wear I don’t care. just a quick thanks. walmart is trying to become the workers hub as well as the American mom’s superstore. whatever it is that you do. conservative, really conservative clothing that wont piss off your co workers, wrangler and dickies workwear, steel toe boots. you’d have to ask a true economist if this emergence of a monopoly is a percipient of the choking economy or not, but if your truly good looking and want to reinvent yourself it might be worth the drive.

thank you truly,

the ummi